The world is a scary place on a normal day, but lately this world has become a terrifying place to be. We have diseases we have never seen, mandatory quarantines, masks EVERYWHERE, people burning down police stations, Target being ransacked and people calling it a protest, and lives are being lost carelessly. Those are just a small number of things that I’ve noticed (someone who avoids the news like the plaque) lately. If that doesn’t scare you then please teach me your ways!

Let me preface this by saying ALL LIVES MATTER to me. Your color, background, religion, or whatever else seems to divide us these days doesn't matter to me. God made us all ( if you don't believe in a God then however u think we got here). Regardless, we all got to earth the same way.

Americans seem to be slightly confused lately about the difference between a protest and a riot. A protest is a way to peacefully be heard & voice your opinion on a subject. A riot is right the opposite & no one is listening to what you have to say when you choose this route. When you make the conscious decision to walk into a target & start ransacking the place then you loose all credibility at that point & those really important things you wanted to convey to the world are no longer heard. Instead you look like a fool! You are grown people who know better. If you don’t know better then shame on who ever raised you for not teaching you that if it is not yours then you don’t get to break it. If you want to protest (as you call it, but really its rioting) and ruin things then take your happy butt to your house and do it in your own yard. You wanna burn things down?? Get you some matches and go at it AT YOUR HOUSE! Why would anyone in their right mind take what someone has to say serious when they just watched them set fire to a police station? Your words are not being heard because your actions are getting in the way. You may have some really good things to say, but we will never know because you are choosing your actions all wrong during a time when words matter more.

If someone hands you a microphone and points you toward an empty stage with a large crowd are you going to use it for good or will you go up on stage and forget it all? That is what happened in America. People were given a platform to speak really important things and they instead acted a fool. To top it all off other people condoned this behavior. People in the public eye who always have a stage and a microphone to speak their peace (and should really know the importance of this) actually spoke out and condoned this behavior. Shame on you! Burning things down, killing people, ransacking stores & just showing blatant disrespect is not doing anyone any favors. You become mute at that point and all the world sees is your actions & quite frankly why would anyone listen to someone who just gunned down a police officer?

Did you know that not all law enforcement are bad people? Believe it or not good ones do exist & the actions of a couple do not define them all. It’s just like the human race. Take a serial killer for example just because they kill 13 people doesn’t mean all of the human race will do the same. Law enforcement officers have brains and morals just like all other humans. They think for themselves & just because one of their co-workers does something bad does NOT mean they will do the same. Therfore, burning police stations & killing officers is just plain dumb. I’m sorry, but whatever you were trying to prove with this method of “protest” is now invalid. All you proved is that you are no better than those officers that made the bad decisions. Do you realize that those actions can’t be undone? That when you kill someone you took away someone from a family. Do you realize that your decisions matter?? I understand being mad and wanting to get even. I understand thinking there is just no other alternative, but at some point you have to use common sense and know that killing someone is not the answer.

Before you jump up and run into the streets to be heard do some research first. See what has worked in the past and try those techniques. History repeats itself & in this case it is no different. Rather than going out and acting a fool try to remember those before you that used America as their platform and did big things by being peaceful. Martin Luther king, Jr didn’t burn police stations down or kill people in order to be heard and he did BIG things. Shoot he has his own holiday yall that has to tell you something. He is just ONE example of how you are going about this all wrong. If you want to be taken serious you have to act like a respectable individual.

Like I said this world is a scary scary place right now, but if we all used our voices for good instead of our actions for bad we could change a little of that scary into good. Humans could make a difference for the better rather than causing more chaos and destruction in an already scary place. ALL LIVES MATTER not just yours. Channel your anger into actions that will make long lasting changes in this fight that you are fighting rather than actions with short term solutions. One day you will have to answer for your actions.. are you prepared for that?? I would imagine that our creator isn’t going to be very happy with some of your actions.

It is time to grow up and act like the adults that you are. Use your words and get crap done rather than what u have been doing because that is clearly not working! You are part of the problem not the solution at this point. The sooner that you realize that ALL LIVES MATTER the better. Love one another, respect one another & stop all of this unnecessary hate!

Growing up we did not go to church every Wednesday and Sunday. We went sometimes but it wasn’t every single week without fail like some of my family and friends. Even when we did go I was never truly comfortable. I believe in God and I always have, but the church setting always made me uncomfortable. I felt judged.

Fast forward to me being a new mom of two & my oldest attending a church run day school program. I loved this program through and through and everything they stood for.. I loved it enough to work there eventually! Me.. I worked for a small town church run day school.. crazy, right?? Every Tuesday and Thursday along side the best helper I could have ever asked for (and honestly she thought me more about God and church that I ever taught those kids) we would teach those 3yr olds about God. We would read them a bible story and color a paper and talk about God ALOT, but I still didn’t have a church home. I still wasn’t comfortable on a sunday morning or Wednesday night sitting through a sermon. My children knew more about God than I did at this point. I still believed I just didn’t have a church family.

Fast forward to late 2019. I decided I wanted to get closer to God and I knew in order to do that I needed to find a church I personally felt comfortable in. I decided I would do this with or without anyone else. If you know me you know this is a HUGE thing because I don’t do new things alone. I do new things with someone who has already done it before me so they can show me the ropes. I do not like going into a situation blindly. I love guidance, but for this I knew it would be something I had to do alone.

Today, I woke up got me and both children dressed and for the first time ever attended a brand new church. I was so nervous to be going to a new place where I had no idea how things worked all by myself. Walking into a building where I wasnt sure if I would know anyone or not was a little daunting. Both girls were nervous, but we were all three excited! I delivered them to their classes downstairs and I proceeded ALONE to find a seat. This is HUGE for me. It was an amazing sermon where I learned alot of things I didn’t know. The music was uplifting and beautiful. I didn’t feel out of place once. Multiple people greeted me and were so nice. I never once felt judged. The girls came out of their class talking non stop about what they learned. I fully intend on going back next weekend, but today I accomplished so much more than attending church.

Today, I am proud of me as a person & I am proud of me as a mom. I feel like 2020 is my year for growth. Today was step one!

You know those days when nothing is going your way? The house is a wreck, your bills are all past due (and it is DAYS until pay day), or your kids are driving u CRAZY! If you have no experience in any of these areas or your life is not a hot mess sometimes then this is not for you. For those of you who experience some of these or things similar to these more than once in a while then let me tell ya a little secret…. you are NOT alone!

Most of us mamas have these days (you do not have to admit it. I am a mom I KNOW it is a thing)! I am sure we all handle these days or moments differently and that is totally cool, but just in case you are looking for a new way to handle things I thought you might like to hear about the power of a shower and good hairspray!

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“If my hair looks good I can deal with anything.”

-unknown

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Some days the idea of taking a shower and fixing my hair is tiring. It seems like just another thing to check off my to-do list & by the time the kids are asleep I am over that to-do list, but if I have had a bad day or a long day or I have some problem that just seems like the end of the world then I need that shower more than ever! Something about going into the bathroom after everyone else is asleep, shutting the door & spending as much time under the HOT water as I want too is healing.

Some days, depending on what has me in a mood, this shower requires certain things to make my world right again. For instance, 90’s rap music (if this is not your favorite that is ok we can still be friends…maybe!) during my shower can give me the energy that I did not realize i even needed. Slow pop music can calm me down when I had NO clue I was wound tight with anxiety. If I have things on my mind that I need to forget I turn on something I can sing too (women of country does the trick) because that is one of the only ways I know how to talk without actually saying a word. When I take a shower with any of these things I am a new woman when I get out.

Almost instantly after a long hot shower I can see that whatever I thought was the end of the world is in fact not that big of a deal with a clean head of hair… add a blow dryer, to many hair products to mention, a round brush, straightener and a good can of hairspray and I can conquer anything you put in my path. I am a new woman once the hairspray hits the hair. I do not care if its midnight and I am just going to bed or if it is 7am and I am going to work the hairspray does the trick. I can see that my day wasnt all that bad. The bills will get paid and the world will still be spinning when they do even if they are late. The kids aren’t all that bad they just have alot of energy and I need to think of better ways to help them release it.

Whatever your problem may be, BIG or small, give the shower and hairspray a try and see if it doesn’t make you feel better! At the very least if it doesn’t make you a new woman you will be a clean woman & we both know that helps anyone rule the world! Now go get your shower on and don’t forget the music!! You got this ladies. I promise that problem will get better!

   One of my goals for 2020 is to pray more & fight less. While this goal was more for me and Matt and less for me & my blog I thought I would bring it to you guys today! I do not know how you pray, but when I pray it is all over the place (I’m working on it. God knows me and he gets it)! Since my daily prayers are all over the place they usually include ALOT of randomness. Here is a list of some of those prayers that maybe you guys could add to your list in 2020!

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   1. I pray for the mama who loves her children dearly and is so unbelievably thankful for those precious children, but she is TIRED. This mama needs a break and some prayers. I’m praying for you mamas!

   2. I pray for the families who have a sick loved one. When anyone in your family is sick it is HARD. Seeing someone you love suffer and knowing you can’t take the pain away is for the birds! I pray the sick are healed!

   3. I pray for the parents who are struggling in their marriage! One of the hardest things in life I have ever done is get married and stay married for 9years. Regardless of how long you have been married it is NOT easy! So regardless of the reason your struggling through marriage I am praying for you and your spouse to come out on top and better than ever!

   4. I pray for those out there who feel lost. Maybe you don’t realize that you have people who love you or who care about you. I pray that you realize really soon just how loved you are!

   5. I pray for the mama who feels like she doesn’t fit in. She feels like she is missing out on all those play dates she sees on social media that those other mamas are having it. She feels like she doesn’t have that one mom friend she can turn to when things get hairy! I have been there mamas and I pray that you find where you fit really soon!

   6. I pray for the husbands who get up early every morning and work until the sun goes back down. Yall are out there making sure your families have EVERYTHING they need and we mamas see you! I am praying for you guys!

   7. I am praying for the stay at home mom who holds so many titles she has lost track. She gets up before everyone else just to make sure she has enough time to get a cup of coffee in before the little feet hit the ground. She goes to bed last just to make sure everything in the house gets done after those same little feet are fast asleep. She misses having a career and work family, but she is so thankful that she is able to stay home and raise her babies! I see you mama and I am praying for you!

8. I am praying for the working mom who gets up with the sun and has to leave her children in the hands of someone else all day long to make sure her family has what they need. She comes home from an exhausting day to then come home and be a mom to those precious children who require so much attention! She goes to bed at night wishing when she woke up the next morning she could be the one at home with her kids all day and her family would still have all that they need! I see you mamas and I have no idea how you do it all, but I am praying for you!

9. I pray that those hardships you encountered in 2019 are either easier in 2020 or disappear completely! You got this & I am praying for you!

10. I pray that 2020 is your best year yet! I am praying for your health and your families! I pray that you make the best of what you have and you find happiness in all that God gives you! I pray that you learn to be content!

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What is a new decade and a new year if you don’t spend it doing great things? Remember when life gets to hard to stand just kneel and if you aren’t able to then I will be here praying for you!

Happy 2020 yall!

Before you go to sleep at night FORGIVE EVERYONE and sleep with a clean heart.

– Unknown

Have you ever met someone who could hold a grudge until the grave? I have & it breaks my heart! Someone asked me once how I can be mad at someone today and by tomorrow i am over it.. it is simple for me! I don’t want to spend my life unhappy & holding a grudge against someone makes me unhappy! Think about it for just a min…

Forgiveness takes so little effort yet gives the biggest reward. When you forgive someone you open yourself up for happiness! Holding that grudge takes up so much room inside of your heart and mind.. there is so little room for happiness with all of that anger bottled up inside. Give yourself that time you need to be angry because anger is not always a bad thing, but don’t get stuck there.. Sooner rather than later let that anger go & forgive!

Forget about it.. I know that is easier said than done, but it can be done! I hear alot of people say I will forgive but I will never forget. If you never allow yourself to forget the wrong that your holding on to then you will never truly forgive.. In your heart and your mind you will always be holding a grudge even if you do not mean to. In order to fully let it all go and make it to the third “F” you need to just forget about it.

Friendliness goes a long way. You can forgive someone and you can forget what they did or said, but if you can’t bring yourself to be friendly to them then you can’t truly find that happiness you deserve! It takes zero energy to be friendly to a person. I am not by any means saying you should become their BFF and have a sleep over, but saying “Hi” or doing something nice for them if they need it will make you and them happier people. If you spend your days being rude to a person/people or thinking of all the reasons you dont like someone then you are wasting your life. A simple hello when you see each other makes both of your lives easier and will leave your head and heart open for the happiness we all are searching for!

So, to answer the question of how I can be mad at you today and over it by tomorrow is really easy for me. I forgive easily & quickly, I forget it like my life depends on it (because my happiness does) & I am friendly to those people even when im not sure I should be. I do not let disputes or quarles dictate my happiness! I pray you will try out the 3 “F’s” next time you feel like you may never speak to someone again! Go get your happiness back if you are busy holding grudges! Life is much to short to be unhappy!

  Once upon a time I was a new mom and I worked a 8 to 5 job. I woke up every morning to put on cute clothes and send my child to daycare so I could go work all day 30 miles away from her at least. I missed so many firsts in the 2.5yrs that i did this, but I LOVED it. I loved the break during the drive to and from work. I loved how happy both of us were to see each other when I came home. Was I tired? Absolutely! Was my house a disaster? Most of the time! Did I miss my child all day long & worry like I never knew I could? 100%! I still loved it. I felt guilty for loving it, but honestly it made me a better mom I thought.

  Fast forward to my oldest turning 2 and me being pregnant with daughter number 2.. Matt and I collectively decided I would quit my 8 to 5 job and stay at home with our children. I did not love the idea of being a stay at home mom, but I loved the idea of being a stay at home mom. Clear as mud? It was for me too! I had this idea that stay at home moms were lazy. Maybe not lazy but they lacked some serious motivation. I knew I would miss work because I am a person who enjoys interacting with other adults, but being a mom trumped that. I had no idea what I was in for….

Fast forward to present day.. 4years later! I had no idea how wrong I was about stay at home mothers. Being a stay at home mom requires some serious dedication! It requires patience, strength, motivation, love, guidance, nerves, forgiveness, medication & some days wine. It requires a whole lot more than that, but u get the point. I was wrong! Some days when Matt comes home I want to retreat to a quite place and curl up in the fetal position. Some days he comes home and the house is a wreck, dishes still aren’t washed, clothes are still in the hamper (or the floor🤫), supper hasn’t been cooked & we all look like a hot mess! When I worked a full time job as a parent if I had a day off my house would look amazing before he came home. Supper usually still wasn’t cooked but you can not win them all! I would wonder why if a mom was home all day long their house still looked like a tornado had come through it twice in one day. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why moms would say they were depressed from staying at home. I was completely blind to the life of a stay at home mom.

The past 4yrs have been some of the hardest years of my entire life. The depression those moms talk about is REAL. Those tornados come through a lot more than 2 times some days. There are days that I can not wait to open that bottle of wine. Sometimes I wonder if my head will explode If I have to answer ONE MORE questions or fix one more snack! Sometimes I wash the same load of clothes twice before they make it to the dryer where they sit much longer than anyone needs to know about 🤦‍♀️. I have ran the water for the dishes and remembered to do them days later more times than I care to admit. I have made decisions I am not sure I would have made prior to this stage of my life. Some days Matt comes home and I am simply all touched and talked out for the day. Some days are just hard! Staying home is mentally, physically and emotionally draining because it takes every ounce of you some days to make sure everyone is happy and alive at the end of the day.

Working full time was just as exhausting some days. I would be dragging when I came home & still had to keep a kid alive and happy all night long. It could feel like the cycle never ended. The dishes piled up & the laundry didn’t do itself, but I still felt accomplished at the end of most days. I knew that those hours I was at my 8 to 5 job I would be paid for and that money was needed. Even when I was exhausted I knew that I was also helpful to our family. I don’t say this to discount moms who work full time because I know how hard it is. I hear women debate all the time about which is harder, and it makes my skin crawl because they are both exhausting. It’s not the working or the staying home that is exhausting. It’s the parenting! Parenting takes work and that is exhausting. So many people want to make one harder than the other or one less important than the other, and In my opinion that is not possible. Some women love to work and for those women (like me) staying home is hard. The women who hate going to a 9 to 5 job probably LOVE staying at home. It’s totally okay for us as moms to feel this way. It is ok to not always be content with whatever decision put u where u are today. It is ok to be exhausted and not get everything done regardless of where u work (at home or away from home)!

I believe in the midst of all of the chaos that goes into raising tiny humans there are beautiful things to be found. Regardless of where you are during the day that moment you are rocking your baby to sleep and you look down at their peaceful expression you have found the beautiful. The moment your child comes to you and asks for love you are experiencing the beautiful. These moments may also happen while the rest of the house is in mass chaos mode but that doesn’t make them any less beautiful. It means we as moms have to try harder to see the beautiful. Working moms and stay at home moms really aren’t all that different. We both get to experience the beautiful even if it may be at different times of the day. We both have hard days and in our mind they are harder than anyone else in the world could possibly understand, but guess what, other moms do understand!  When you teach a toddler a new word and you get to hear them speak it out loud you have found the beautiful. You find the beautiful moments in the sloppy kisses & sometimes even the tears!

Mamas, I know these moments are hard to find sometimes. I know at the end of some days it seems like u might not mentally make it through another one, but you will. I know that it can seem like whichever situation you are in is much harder than the opposite mama, but it’s not! We all go through really hard times, but at the end of the day we are all trying to do the same thing… raise good humans! We are all just trying to find the beautiful in the middle of a very chaotic life. If you are one of those people who doesn’t have an ounce of chaos in your life then this is not for you and I salute you! If you ever have spare time I would love to hear all about how u manage your life with zero chaos, but the majority of us moms out here have some serious chaos!

  I hope you will try to find the beautiful in the life you are living. If that life is working a full time job then I commend you, and if it’s staying at home with the kids then I commend you as well. I hope you will think twice before you belittle a mom for her decision to stay home or work. Please know that from one mom to another I am praying for you to find the beautiful in the middle of whichever chaos you choose!

Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do.

– Matt Walsh

Growing up I always heard adults talking about their significant others families. Sometimes everything they said was negative but ocassionally they were positive talks. Everyone always told me to make sure I married into a family where I loved my mother & father-in-law! I thought this advice was stupid because it was my husband who mattered not his family…Right?? WRONG!

When Matt & I met we were babies still and his family treated me like family from the beginning. He has a HUGE family compared to mine so I was just another one to add to it! I come from a very small family and to them Matt just became another one of us. Maybe this is not how it goes if u meet later in life.. I really am not sure, but it is how it happened for us! Years later when we married I officially became a part of their family and his parents became my in-laws.. This was not a big thing for me because I had been apart of their family for so long already, but everyone kept telling me how I was so lucky because of the relationship I had with my in-laws. I had no clue how right those people were. I was young and dumb, and sometimes it takes me a little longer to come to conclusions by myself ! Shhhhh, don’t tell my husband I am admitting that!

Fast forward several years to today.. I have never been closer to my in-laws in the 15years that I have known them. I realized that they aren’t going to be around forever & I have such a limited time to spend with them that I just was not spending the time I needed to spend learning all the things they could teach me! I have parents and anyone who knows me will tell u that I am VERY close with my parents as well. My mom is my best friend in the world, but she is from an entirely different generation than my in-laws. They had Matt way later in life therefore they are my grandparents age!

I started thinking of ways we could spend more time with them. We live next door so it shouldn’t be that hard, right? RIGHT! I started taking the girls down of a morning so we could have coffee with them. I started cooking supper and taking it down there so we could eat it as a family. Does this take more time out of my day? Yes it does! Is it worth it? So worth it! I never realized how much bonding can happen over watching a baby play in the floor while you drink coffee! A new recipe where they are all my Guinea pigs makes for the best conversations! I have learned so much about life & the way things used to be compared to now! I now have the relationship with my in-laws people always told me to look for..

When you pick a husband you are not just picking a husband you are choosing a whole family. I hope I teach this to my girls well enough that they don’t just choose a spouse but an entire family! I used to think those people just liked to complain about their mother-in-law, but since then I have learned that they were not kidding around. Some of these mother-in-laws are no joke!! I am so thankful that I am blessed with a great one! If you aren’t married yet I hope you take this advice to heart when people tell it to you. You are not just marrying your spouse. You are marrying his entire family if they are close! You are marrying the good ones, the bad ones & the ones you can not stand! Pick wisely so that one day you can have the best talks over coffee with them every single day! Pick the husband who has the family that makes you one of their own from day one!

I pray that everyone is blessed with a Mother & Father-in-law like mine! I couldn’t have chose a better pair to learn life lessons over coffee and supper from.. if you aren’t this close with your in-laws already then maybe after reading this you will try harder to get to know them! They won’t be around forever!

Kids hear everything, yall! Even when you think they are paying zero attention they are taking in every single word adults are saying. Sometimes as adults I think we forget that and then we have situations where we are forced to explain ourselves. Good or bad all parents probably handle these situations differently and that’s ok because that is what makes the world so fun.

My 3yr old , the spunky one, asked me the other day what the letters “B-T-C-H” spelled. I had not spelled any words out loud that day as I often do so she won’t know what I am saying, but that day I had not. It didn’t click with me what she was trying to spell and she is forever saying random letters and saying it spells something it doesn’t. Naturally, I ignored her and told her it didn’t spell anything. She kept asking over and over. Then she says “it is a bad word I think”..light bulbs started going off in my head and it hit me that she was just missing a few letters in her word!

Now, all parents would handle this in their own way, I am ok with that! However, in that moment I had to very quickly decide how I was going to handle it. I have always been a very honest parent. Unless they wanna go somewhere and I don’t so I say its closed! Major things though I always try to be honest on their level. I don’t want to scar them, but I also don’t want to lie to them. They know all the bad words. I say them. I will not try to pretend like I have a good vocabulary. It is awful, but it is what it is. They know not to say them and they don’t. This is the first time however that I have had a 3yr old spell one to me, and it threw me for a loop. I had a couple thoughts in that moment. I was first, baffled at the fact that she knew how to spell a bad word (I never spell them. I say them). Then, i was proud, she almost spelled a word right and she is only 3!!

So, I looked her in the little eye and I said, ” do you mean B-I-T-C-H?” She looks so excited and says “yea that’s the one!!” I asked her why she was trying to spell that word and she said she just wondered what it spelled. I told her what the word was and very matter of factly she looked me in the eye and says “that’s a bad word”. I told her she was right and she didn’t need to spell it. Then I told her how proud I was that she almost spelled a word right! I could have been mad and got on to her for spelling a bad word. I could have yelled and all that stuff, but I didn’t. I figure if she knows what the word spells & she knows she doesn’t need to say or spell it anymore then I have done my job. I am 100% sure there will be moms that disagree with this theory and way of parenting. That’s ok with me. That is the fun thing about the world we live in. We all live here together but we don’t all do things the same way! I parent my girls with honesty and realness. If they ask me where babies come from I do not tell them a stork drops them off at your front door. If they ask me hard questions I answer them. Do I go into gory details?! No! They don’t need to worry about all of life’s little or big problems as children. They need to be kids, but they also need to know how things really work in life. I would much rather I got to be the one to be honest with them about life rather than a kid at school.

Kids are curious creatures! They need information to learn and grow. They flourish on having new information. Sometimes that information is as simple as how does something work, but sometimes that information is how to spell a bad word. I’m that mom that is going to give it to them straight, and that is ok! I am that mom who cusses around her children, and that is ok! I am that mom who tells her kids the truth about life, and that is ok! Do you mama. Not everyone will parent like you, and that is ok! It does not mean we are doing it wrong. Heck I am winging it daily, but it means we are trying! I hope today you don’t have to answer any really hard questions, but I hope the next time that you do you think about this before you answer. I hope you remember that you are the parent and the way you choose to answer those questions is up to no one else but you!