Kids hear everything, yall! Even when you think they are paying zero attention they are taking in every single word adults are saying. Sometimes as adults I think we forget that and then we have situations where we are forced to explain ourselves. Good or bad all parents probably handle these situations differently and that’s ok because that is what makes the world so fun.
My 3yr old , the spunky one, asked me the other day what the letters “B-T-C-H” spelled. I had not spelled any words out loud that day as I often do so she won’t know what I am saying, but that day I had not. It didn’t click with me what she was trying to spell and she is forever saying random letters and saying it spells something it doesn’t. Naturally, I ignored her and told her it didn’t spell anything. She kept asking over and over. Then she says “it is a bad word I think”..light bulbs started going off in my head and it hit me that she was just missing a few letters in her word!
Now, all parents would handle this in their own way, I am ok with that! However, in that moment I had to very quickly decide how I was going to handle it. I have always been a very honest parent. Unless they wanna go somewhere and I don’t so I say its closed! Major things though I always try to be honest on their level. I don’t want to scar them, but I also don’t want to lie to them. They know all the bad words. I say them. I will not try to pretend like I have a good vocabulary. It is awful, but it is what it is. They know not to say them and they don’t. This is the first time however that I have had a 3yr old spell one to me, and it threw me for a loop. I had a couple thoughts in that moment. I was first, baffled at the fact that she knew how to spell a bad word (I never spell them. I say them). Then, i was proud, she almost spelled a word right and she is only 3!!
So, I looked her in the little eye and I said, ” do you mean B-I-T-C-H?” She looks so excited and says “yea that’s the one!!” I asked her why she was trying to spell that word and she said she just wondered what it spelled. I told her what the word was and very matter of factly she looked me in the eye and says “that’s a bad word”. I told her she was right and she didn’t need to spell it. Then I told her how proud I was that she almost spelled a word right! I could have been mad and got on to her for spelling a bad word. I could have yelled and all that stuff, but I didn’t. I figure if she knows what the word spells & she knows she doesn’t need to say or spell it anymore then I have done my job. I am 100% sure there will be moms that disagree with this theory and way of parenting. That’s ok with me. That is the fun thing about the world we live in. We all live here together but we don’t all do things the same way! I parent my girls with honesty and realness. If they ask me where babies come from I do not tell them a stork drops them off at your front door. If they ask me hard questions I answer them. Do I go into gory details?! No! They don’t need to worry about all of life’s little or big problems as children. They need to be kids, but they also need to know how things really work in life. I would much rather I got to be the one to be honest with them about life rather than a kid at school.
Kids are curious creatures! They need information to learn and grow. They flourish on having new information. Sometimes that information is as simple as how does something work, but sometimes that information is how to spell a bad word. I’m that mom that is going to give it to them straight, and that is ok! I am that mom who cusses around her children, and that is ok! I am that mom who tells her kids the truth about life, and that is ok! Do you mama. Not everyone will parent like you, and that is ok! It does not mean we are doing it wrong. Heck I am winging it daily, but it means we are trying! I hope today you don’t have to answer any really hard questions, but I hope the next time that you do you think about this before you answer. I hope you remember that you are the parent and the way you choose to answer those questions is up to no one else but you!
Motherhood & Marriage 