My 3yr old (almost 4) currently has a nasty carpet burn on her nose and lip. In the brain of a child it seemed like a good idea to stage dive off the ottoman but she forgot to make sure she had groupies to catch her!! This fall resulted in alot of blood and some nasty looking scrapes, but it also brought up an interesting conversation between her and my mother-in-law the next day. They were sitting there eating their breakfast when she asked my mother-in-law could she teach her how to fall and catch herself.. when my mother-in-law told me this I was baffled. What does she mean she doesnt know how to catch herself??
You see this is my child who is WILD on a completely different level than my oldest child. She must pull all the energy God gives me directly out of my body! She also sees no danger and has no fear. This usually results in those injuries that require a bandaid and a kiss! It never crossed my mind that as a mother I would need to teach this child how to catch herself when she fell. She believed someone would always catch her when she falls and her little heart was broken because no one caught her when she dove off the couch into the floor! Naturally my heart broke when my mother-in-law relayed this information to me. I have failed my child ….
I thought about it long and hard once I asked how she handled it. She told me she demonstrated how to fall with your hands in front of you. The clinical approach that the child was probably looking for I am sure and that approached placated her for now. As her mother I wanted to make sure I discussed this with her and eventually I will. It got me thinking about my parenting approach…
We all have a different approach to parenting, and I think that is great! We are all different people so naturally we won’t all see things the same way. My way is more like those mama birds who kick their young babies out of the nest and pray they fly! This realization made me see that this is exactly why she doesn’t know how to catch herself when she falls! This approach works really well on my oldest child but not this child. She needs more guidance and love. She requires more attention and patience. Parenting her is like starting over with a whole new strategy because she is her own ballgame!
It made me realize that no two children are the same just like no two mothers are the same! Each one of my children require my attention in very different ways. It was an eye opener for me because all of this time I have tried to parent her just like i did her older sister, and that will not work for her! Today my 3yr old taught me the lesson.
We all fall at different speeds and sometimes we forget how to catch ourselves. Some of us naturally catch ourselves and run with it. Some of us face plant and come out with very nasty cuts and bruises. It’s okay for your kids to be different. It’s okay for you to parent them differently and not feel guilty about it.
Motherhood is hard. Some days I face plant and some days I grow as a mom. Today, thanks to my 3yr old, I am growing as a mom. If you are reading this and having a face plant kinda day take a minute to step back and think for a second. Know that your doing a great job because your trying! Your kicking motherhood’s ass and doing a darn good job at it. Maybe you just need to sit down and let your children teach you a lesson to get back on track! It appears no matter how old we are or how many children we may have we still have lessons to learn!
Motherhood & Marriage 